Monday, April 28, 2014

TEACHER:   Maria, go to the map and find North America. 
MARIA:        Here it is. 
TEACHER:   Correct. Now class, who discovered America? 
CLASS:         Maria. 

TEACHER:  John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? 
JOHN:          You told me to do it without using the tables.  

TEACHER:  Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' 
GLENN:       K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L
TEACHER:  No, that's wrong 
GLENN:       Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.   
(I  Love this child) 

TEACHER:   Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? 
DONALD:     H I J K L M N O. 
TEACHER:   What are you talking about? 
DONALD:    Yesterday you said it's H to O.   

TEACHER:   Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. 
WINNIE:       Me! 

TEACHER:   Glen, why do you always get so dirty?          
GLEN:          Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.  

TEACHER:     Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I' 
MILLIE:         I is... 
TEACHER:     No, Millie...... always say, 'I  am' 
MILLIE:         All right...  'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet'.    

TEACHER:    George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him? 
LOUIS:           Because George still had  the axe in his hand.

TEACHER:    Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? 
SIMON:          No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.   

TEACHER:    Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his? 
CLYDE   :       No sir, It's the same dog.     
(I want to adopt this kid!!!) 

TEACHER:    Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? 
HAROLD:       A teacher.


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